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caylee22505
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Name: Cayce
Birthday: 1/28/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: laying on my bed and staring at my ceiling, dreaming, my refound love of astronomy, and my newly discovered hobby of aimlessly driving.
Expertise: i have an area of expertise?
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
ICQ:  63122313
Member Since:
1/19/2003
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| So generally i do a year in review of the previous year. So I figure I've done it online for the last few years, so why stop now.
This has been the hardest year in full for me. I've had rough spots in the past that were a lot harder than some of the spots this year, but it seemed as though this year was a never ending repeat of bad spots. No, I'm not looking for a pity party. I'm just telling the facts. Although I have had plenty of good things as well.
I started a new job that has given me opportunity after opportunity. I've gained more friends than I could ask for. I've lost contact with some along the way. I've been disappointed, cried more times than I ever have, and gotten over some of the biggest hurdles in my life. I took off in my car in October and drove 8 1/2 hours by myself to Alabama. I grew so much and learned a lot about myself in the hours I was on the road (especially when the weather stretched my trip home to take 12 hours). I drove through some of the most beautiful scenary, stopped along the way, took pictures. I felt the Georgia rain. I got over things I never knew I'd be able to. I moved on. I'm more of a person that I was before this year.
I realize there's so much to be thankful for. But you know those times that people try to cheer you up and you just don't want to be? I'm to a point when it comes to discussing the year prior, that I just want to complain about it because it wasn't perfect, it wasn't what it needed to be. I gave up time and time again. I found out who my true friends were. I saw who was there for me when I needed htem the most. And it's suprising when you find that out. It's ironic, too, because I've found from the past year that the people that I least expect to be there are the ones who were. And in return the ones that you expect the most from are the ones who let you down in the long run.
I give everything my all. And I don't know, it just seems to me that what I put into things I don't get anything from it. And I don't plan on changing. But it's an unusual feeling. It's that same empty feeling of being lonely.
But again, I'm not looking for a pity party. I'm thankful for a lot. I've seen almost 20 years of a better life that most people only ask for. I've grown closer to my family than I've ever been. I have a set of friends that are dependable and the greatest things ever. I saw weddings, engagements, and babies galore this year. The bad did outweigh the good at some points. But I'm still grateful for all that I have and are able to do and see.
I don't ask for much. I'm a pretty simple girl. I have a complex mind, but a simple heart.
I just ask to get in return what I give in 2007. I want someone to see and understand my complex mind and simple heart. And a better year. I just want to be content.
So, don't cry to me.
If you loved me, you would be here with me.
You love me, come find me.
Make up your mind.
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| I'm pretty sure that this is the longest that I've ever gone without posting on xanga. Although I have a myspace and such, I haven't given up hope on xanga. It is nearly only reached it's popularity as it was when i first started writing on here. The good thing is, the entire community won't be reading this post, unlike those for the past year or so.
My last post was my last from school, almost two and half months ago. And now I have 24 days until I return back to transyland. I'm not quite ready, although after spending the earlier part of the week in Lexington and Winchester, i'm more ready than I was before. But I'm still not ready for that whole responsibility and growing up bit. *sigh* and also not ready for tests and papers and the such. But the sooner I go back, the sooner it's over. And as funny as it sounds, I'm ready for the real world. I like school, I like transy, for that matter. And I like everything that college life entails. but at the same time I can't help but be ready for the real world, to be out of school and have a real job and whatnot. I'm ready to be settled, as crazy as that sounds.
I feel like i've finally gotten settled back into a routine at home, and i'm about ready to turn around and go back. *shrugs* figures, eh?
I've been working a lot this summer, although not as much as last year, thankfully. But comparing summer of '05 to summer of '06 is odd. I have to admit, although last summer I worked a lot more, i had a lot more fun. I enjoyed myself more. But I've taken on a whole lot more responsibility this summer, so I'm hoping that that means that since i'm now used to this whole responsible bit that next summer (i always say "next" ...and it's upsetting to think that there's not going to be many more "next" free summers) will be better.
So all in all, i'm rambling about nothing. Mainly, I'm alive. and well for the most part. and that's all that you xangans need to know.
g'night.
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| So I'm bored out of my mind because the only thing left in my room for entertainment is textbooks and a television. Almost everyone has either left, they're already in bed, or they're slackers and still packing. My room is cold, empty and echo-y, and I'm having some hardcore flashbacks to the very beginning of the school year when I moved in early and was in my room alone for 3 days.
I'm ready to come home. Really, I am....just not for 3 full months. I don't deal with change very well. and this would be one more instance. I know I've already said all of this. So I'll stop soon. But I don't want to leave and come back to things being different. It is really like graduating all over again.
I ate food in Lauren and Jessie's room for the last time tonight. It was really depressing to me. This is the last night that I can go in there and us goof off. *tear* so sue me, I dont' like change.
But all in all this year has been in incredible whirlwind. I've grown in every way possible and made some friends that will last a lifetime. I've had my year full of ups and downs and inbetweens. But I have been happier here. This place really allows me to grow and be[come] exactly who i am and want to be. I love it. *sigh*
So here I am, my last hours at Transy... cheers to the year past and all the memories and the summer ahead, and all of hte ones to come. *clink*
***
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears we knew we'd cry
Here's to goodbye tomorrow is gonna come too soon... | | |
| I found thatt probably one of the worst feelings in the world is when you see one of your best friends throwing herself at the guy that you're into. and yeah, sidenote, she knows about it. oh and another sidenote, he was into you that night...but then she came along...  *sigh* that's just not cool. I dont' care who says it, but high school drama doesn't leave just because you actually leave high school.
i'm so ready to be home again. | | |
| So all the UK kiddies moved out this weekend. So it's just us Transy folk in Lexington now. I'm here for another 2 1/2 weeks. Then it's home for the summer, and back at good 'ole BCC. I'm kinda excited actually. I now really have a decent reason to work there other than just to get a paycheck. I've decided (and it's almost official) that I'm doing the hospitality studies of business administration. So here's to the rest of my life spent doing stuff like i do at the club. lol. But it feels good, to have my major (and minor!) finally figured out and be happy with it. I'm just glad that I'm not the type to change often. I feel sorry for the friends that I have that are on their 5th major already and we're only finishing up our first year. So it's official (or almost). In 3 years I'll graduate with a degree in Business Administration with an emphasis in Hospitality and a minor in Communications. So there ya have it, xanga land. Cayce's gonna be in the real world sooner than you think.
It's odd, this whole college thing. Because with each passing year (or at least at smaller schools) it's like graduating all over again. The emotions that I feel right now are the same that I felt this time last year. This has become my home now. Room 449 is my home. Chelsea is across the hall, Emily's next to me, Lauren and Jessie are across and down two. Next year, I won't be able to bang on Chelsea's door to see if an outfit looks okay, or to run to Lauren and Jessie's to see if they want to order food since the caf was disappointing that night. Jessie won't even be in Lexington. It's sad. Because I've gotten so used to this little world of 4th back (my hall) that I don't want to leave it. It's like I'm moving out of my house and out of Russell all over again. I'd be perfectly content with everything staying the same. I don't want the seniors to leave. I don't feel like I know them well enough to let them go. *sigh* I just don't want things to change again. I'm kinda getting sick of that, actually. I'm getting tired of everything changing and knowing that it's never going to be the same again. I guess that plays into that whole growing up thing, huh?
The last month has been exciting, nonetheless. It's been my typical month for this time of year, full of ups and downs and in betweens. As much as I love it here, I am ready to be home for a bit. I miss my dogs and my best friend.  And the routine of it all. and just the small town life itself.
I won't get into details. Those only get boring after a while. But I'm excited even as my first year here is winding down. I'd post pictures, but my dern camera broke and it's been shipped off for surgery at Sears Hospital.
So xangaland, have a good one. And take some time to smell the pretty spring flowers. 
***
And it's amazing
With the look in your eyes
Like you could save me
But you won't even try
And then you tell me again
How everything will be alright
And if I told you
That I'm sorry
Would you tell me that you were wrong
Or would you hold me down forever
If I came to your for answers
And I saw
Pictures in my head
And I swear I saw you opening up again
Cause I would be heavenly
If baby you'd just rescue me now
And I'm surrounded
You spill
All alive and brand new
And I'll forget about you long enough
To forget why I need to
And I saw
Pictures in my head
And I swear I saw you opening up again
Cause I would be heavenly if
Baby you'd just rescue me now
The days are
Drifting away from me
I still wake up
Burning through everything
And it's all I know
Somebody save me now
And I saw
Pictures in my head
But I swear I saw you opening up again
Cause I would be heavenly if
Baby you'd just rescue me now
Ohhhh
Pictures in my head
I saw you opening up again
Cause I would be heavenly if
Baby you'd just rescue me now
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